Christmas has come and gone and I am actually am thankful. It has been so crazy busy with all the family get togethers. It all started last Saturday with the first one at Stacey's parent's house. We all got together, or most of us were there anyways and opened gifts, ate and played cards. The kids really enjoyed themselves. Myself, well I was having a bad day, so I didn't really want to be anywhere but home. Then on Christmas Eve, Stacey, E, and I all went to my dad's house for that get together. My dad hasn't been able to really get in the mood for Christmas this year, which I can totally relate to, as we never even put a tree up. So needless to say he had a tree up, but no lights or decorations on it. We got there around 10 I think, cause we had to stop at Randy's house(Stacey's boyfriend) and E had to open a gift there first, which was a cute little pooh blow up bed and sleeping bag combo. It came in handy at my dad's house big time. So...we put lights on the tree and then decorated and by the time we were done it was almost midnight, so it was decided to open gifts, minus few from Santa for E. Of course E was spoiled rotten. But was so funny, cause she really didn't want to open the gifts and could of cared less.
In the morning she opened a few more and my sister made us all a wonderful breakfast. Then it was time to set off to Stacey's parents house again, as she is the only kid that still goes there on Christmas day. We got there and mom had waffles and bacon made for breakfast, so we got to eat yet again. Then opened a couple more gifts and it was time to leave there. We came home for a brief minute and then it was time to head to Randy's house for Christmas dinner and gifts there. I think I ate more on Christmas day then I have in a year I swear. It was really nice and I feel very blessed that Randy's family not only included Stacey in their family get together, but Elizabeth and myself as well. It was very nice of them.
Then today we had another Christmas get together at Stacey's parents' house for those that weren't able to make it last Saturday. So more food, gifts, and card playing. This time I drove though so that Elizabeth and I could leave earlier. She got over tired there last time.
All in all we had a very nice Christmas, but I felt like I was constantly on the road. And the weather here hasn't been the greatest for driving. We went from blizzard like conditions last weekend to rain and dense fog this weekend, with lots of icy back roads. You gotta love Michigan and it's wonderful weather.
Now on to my and then some.... Well my love life as of late has been a lot like Days of Our Lives for me. It has been crazy and I have felt more hurt in the last couple of weeks then I can ever explain. Some of you know who I was dating for the last year and know the situation. For those that don't, well I'm sorry and there is a reason you don't and it will have to stay that way. Anyways, about 3 weeks ago I called it off completely with this person and told him I just couldn't do it any more. I loved him to death and had thought he was my soul mate and never wanted things to end, but the situation was just getting to be too much for me too handle any more. I will probably love him till the day that I die, as he was my first true love and I hate that he came back into my life at this point in time, cause it just wasn't meant to be for us. He has some of his own issues that need to be cleared up before we can have a future together and I don't see that happening any time soon. So I broke my own heart and ended it between us. We have vowed that we will try to remain friends and be there for each other if one of us needs the other, but at this point we were both hurting each other too much to continue a relationship. Plus E was getting attached and I didn't want her to get hurt later on. So it has very hard for me and I am still having days were I second guess the decision I made, but know that it is in both mine and Elizabeth's best interest and that is what is important. If anyone wants to comment on this individual and the situation, please don't use names...and I'm sure you understand why.
Also Joe and I have been fighting like cats and dogs as I previously mentioned, so that hasn't helped matters any. I am sure there are others out here who understand when I say that I don't like him at all, but a part of me will always love him because he is the father to my daughter and did help give her to me and she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. He is very hung up on me and I'm sure I haven't made things easy for him at times because of some things I have done and I truly am sorry for that. However, it's over and will remain that way. We just were never meant to be and I tried for too many years to make it work for E and realized that it will never happen. He will never be the person I want him to be or a person I can ever see myself spending the rest of my life with. He did give me my daughter and for that I will forever be grateful to him for. However, he doesn't want to see me move on in any capacity. He even had a hand in ending things with the other person I had been dating for over a year. So for that reason I have had to basically cut him out of my life and in away out of Elizabeth's as well. I have noticed too many times that it never bothered him to have her or see her if I was going to be involved in it. Like going shopping together for her or going to doctor appointments that would last all day so we were together all day, or even just spending the day with him so E could see her daddy. And that isn't what I want for her. I want him to want to spend time with her for her. He says I am the only reason he has to live for and that I am his everything and with out me he is nothing. Well in all honesty, I don't want to have that responsibility. I only want for one person to have to rely on me like that, and that is Elizabeth, cause I am her mother. So it has been very strained for awhile for us and he took the final step last week to cut off any communication with me, as he over stepped his boundaries in something that didn't concern him at all.
All that being said, I have met someone that I am getting to know right now. It is nothing more than that at this point. I met him in November really and he is a friend of a friends of mine. We have gotten together 3 times now to hang out and watch movies and talk. He is very sweet, caring and funny. He is a true gentleman in every sense of the word. I have never met anyone like him before and it's kinda weird, because he isn't really like any other man I have ever dated before, not there has been many, but still. And no we aren't even really dating. He is very shy in person and outgoing when I am texting him or talking online with him. And for now that is all i am going to say about the subject. He does put a smile on my face and I like that........
So that is what has been happening in my love life or as a friend put it recently...Jen's life outside of being a mom to E!! This was for you T!
No comments:
Post a Comment