Frustrating!!!

Wow, what a frustrating day today was!!!! Elizabeth def started her week out with a bang. She has finally showed them her true colors and they have said, "well, the honeymoon phase is over now!!" She actually had been doing rather well with them last week eating and giving them minor problems with drinking. Today though was a whole different story. From the first meal to the last she didn't hold anything back and let them know what she really thought about eating and their program.

At first this morning I thought she was just still tired and having a bad morning, but it just got worse meal after meal. She showed them what I see on a regualr basis at home. From saying no, to hiding her face and putting her whole head and face down on the table, covering her eyes and face, blowing bubbles in her drink, talking to them, turning her head from them......u name it, I think she did it. Although, I have to say, at least there was no hitting them this time.

They had upped her fluid amount to 4 ounces at each meal and added a new texture, which was pureed pears. They have also decreased her formula she recieves in her tube by another 125 mls, which now brings her tube feeding at night to, 625 ml formula and 200 ml water....she use to recieve 1000 ml of formula a night. She did well with the pears, but htey had major issues with the drinking today. They have been trying to at least let her have a chance at drinking on her own with out them making her or holding the cup to her lips, but today she wouldn't take the drink and fought them when they held it to her lips. They have said that they think the next step is going to be a squirt type bottle with straw that they can place where they want in her mouth and put in as much liquid as they want her to have in the correct place to make sure she swallows it properly. I know it's a good thing over all, but such a step backwards. I know they need to retrain her completely of all she has learned over the years about eating and show her the proper way to do things, but it is so hard to watch.

The pyschologist said today that Elizabeth acting up is a good thing and it means that the program is working. It means Elizabeth is trying what she has always know that has worked to get out of eating. She said Elizabeth will learn over time that her old tricks and antics aren't going to work and she is going to just have to eat and that eventaully she will stop trying to get out of it altogether and just eat. And I know logically it makes sense, but in my heart it doesn't. It is just so hard to hear her crying out for me and saying she wants me and I can't do anything about it. She doesn't even know that I am watching behind the mirror at everything that is going on. Even at home now, she has stopped drinking for herself and makes me put the cup to her lips to get a drink!!! Ugghhhhh!!!!

I know this doesn't make sense to most of you and you can't even begin to fathom why this is so frustrating, especially being I'm just watching from behind a mirror, but it is incredibly hard. I so wish that she would just eat. It is hard on the parents of these children and I don't think the other people in their lives trule understand the depths of the frustration and emotional amd mental toll all this has on a person........with that being said, I invited anyone who want sto get a better understand of what Elizabeth is going through to come on down for a half a day and watch a session and see what this all about......it is truly eye opening and makes you appreciate your own kids a little more and believe me, the little bit of food they won't finish on their plates, or the veggies they refuse to eat will be seen a whole lot differently!!! GIve your kids a hug and know u are blessed to have them and that they can eat on their own, even if they like to give u a hard time once in awhile.